Left out

No one asked me to join their table at the golf Christmas dinner so I have to ask to go on the rejects table or not go so I think I won't go. It's how I deal with the left out stuff. My daughter doesn't want us at her place for Christmas and my husbands family has never asked us and if I mention that I'm the bad one. I wish I would just disappear. I hate Christmas its full of grief and reminders that I don't fit and embarrass people.
It doesn't seem to matter how badly others behave its my fault. Now it's starting to rain. I feel sorry for myself but its always been the same, and I suppose lots of people feel like that and are treated like that. I always feel more at home with outsiders really. It's like the insiders have a secret only they know. Once I got asked to a stupid charity race thing because I was standing next to the person really being asked so I stupidly said yes and turned up sat down next to my friend to be told I was sitting at another table with strangers.
The other thing I get is the via friendship, they really want to be friends with your friend so you get used to that end, when they achieve that you get cut out.
There is a house down the road with a 2 metre brick fence around it I wish I lived there at least metaphorically.
Anyway I'm used to it really I don't feel comfortable with any attention.

Lovely day

We are going up to daughters as she is off sick from work. I'm going to take some plants from the garden up to her, things they don't have to look after, bromeliads and orchards etc the tough stuff. I'm reading The Casual Vacancy J D Rowling's first adult book, through I think the Harry Potter books were adult books as well as for children. I like it a lot to my surprise. She is a very good writer but its not just that, I think the author always lurks in the work and you feel her sense of humour and her kindness towards her characters and it makes you interested in them.
The garden is in flower I'll take some pictures.

How to stuff a human

I finished the little cardigan with 2nd hand pearl buttons from the op shop. We went to Sydney to see another neglected musical called The Lucky Stiff. Unfortunately my favourite actor was the died at the start so he was the stiff for the rest of the musical. It was on at the Darlinghurst theatre. We ate at Monkey and Leo's as usual.
I spent a lot of the musical worried about the corpse getting wiffy but I'd missed the line about the taxidermy. It was a crazy plot but great fun, probably the best fun you could have on a Monday afternoon.

Sunday

Worked yesterday evening and Friday and working this afternoon. There were meetings with the union about staffing so the fool in charge is making the Num (nursing unit manager, aka charge sister). Why do they perpetually change titles? Making the num write the roster she has not in 30 plus years in that job managed to write a decent roster so the sickies will go up. The first one she wrote she put all the casual people on whatever shifts she thought and way more shifts than they wanted. People work casual so they take the shifts they want and as many as they want.
The nurse who usually writes the roster said look what if I just keep writing it and you sign off on it but the Num is too frightened of management and suspects they want her out, which of course they have for years. She is cunning and a liar so they haven't nailed her yet, I think age will get her first she looks unwell. I have asked for 6 months long service leave and I taking a sickie next Friday.

Front yard

The dog was barking at something my daughter had a look she said there is a hedgehog, I said we don't have hedgehogs we have echidnas. I said to a friend guess what was in our yard she said an echidna, they have been seen around its mating  season including a rare albino one. We were going to ring Wires which takes care of native animals but it had gone away, very exciting.

back to work

I had a months holiday which went very fast through we didn't go away, just short visits to and from people. I felt really bad about going back but it wasn't so bad. Of course they had changed a bunch of things, changed may not be the right word recycled stuff again. We are supposed to give reports at the bedside. A misread recommendation of the last inquiry into hospitals. It actually had it as an option but the nursing unit manager of our ward thinks any edicts from on high come down on tablets from the mountain. Most people ignore it but I had to get report from my nemesis, well shes not really. Just a non thinking for herself person. She drags me round the patients and then does a whisper in the corridor  of all the bad news depression, DV (domestic violence), drug taking. I find that really offensive. Also most of our rooms are shared so telling the history of either of them in the hearing of the other lady has privacy problems.  Funny how curtains are treated as soundproof. In this town too everyone knows a lot of people. The next day the bedside report went west again.

Corned beef on a rainy day

It's Saturday and my intended garden day has drizzled all day I took the dog out for a walk thinking the rain had stopped but no. She turned for home after a bit of sniffing. I was thinking of making marmalade (that's a funny word must look it up) but decided to knit instead. I am going to watch Clueless again while I knit in honour of friends who are staying at Pismo beach.
Making corned beef see picture it smells lovely. The meat is over the use by date but I've been reading Clarissa (two fat ladies) book Rifling through my Drawers, which I recommend unless you are a rabid anti hunting person. All the meat seems to aged for months so I think corned beef a week over and boiled a lot should be ok. Anyway if you, well no one really hears from us again you know we died from corned beef poisoning which is at least unusual and interesting.