Cardigan thoughts

I just finished a new baby cardigan. I want to make some knits for the prospective grandchildren. I feel like who knows maybe I won't be around and they will have something that their nana made. It is retro to me because the wool is patrons bluebell which my mother made most of her jumpers in, the colour is like a colour she would have picked for my father and the buttons are second hand and the kind that we seemed to always have on our cardigans. It's a Debbie Bliss pattern.
I was thinking about sewing class when I was five, we were making a pin wheel and we were supposed to double stitch for the start of the thread but I just couldn't get it right. In the end the teacher said to me tie a knot. I've done these anxious little knots ever since but I'm going to try and double stitch its a much neater finish. I had that pin wheel for a long time the thread was so dirty and no two stitches were the same.
I feel guilty today as I didn't play golf because it was raining, sometimes I think my whole life is guilt driven I wonder what I really want to do.