ipad

The darling girls gave us an ipad each for christmas, motherhood pays off at last, I got a white one and he got the black one, well black bezel and silver back. It is completely obsessive and I should figure out how to write this blog on it but I like my computer too so I'll do that later, I've been downloading lots of stuff but its very slow at downloading movies so I'll have to do that on the computer. I had to upgrade this computer as it didn't know what an ipad was when we connected them up, funny.
I've miserable a lot as usual all kinds of bad thoughts. Like Buffy back from the dead and not entirely happy about it. Difficult to explain to anyone especially as no visible signs people still asking about it and me still saying I dont talk about it. 2 horrible years in February I think I shouldn't be here you wonder if you should be alive, like a butterfly beating its wings in the amazon causing a hurricane. The things you do and effect. Then you read people deciding they will do great charity stuff but I'm kind of Christopher Hitchens about the mother Teresas of the world. Everyone seems on to that stuff, charities spring up like weeds. For sure some are of good intent but a lot of founders seem to driving the charity cars and going on the charity flights. Not my thing in nursing you see the results of care can  be mixed.

I am reading a book about mind body healing that is a bit helpful, relaxation techniques like deep breathing, funny how you have to learn the same stuff over and over again. This is our tree it is a lovely shape, we have to take it down soon but I miss it.